This is the end my friends - the end of the story of Clarence the camper and Betsy the bad ass beast of a truck.
I would be lying if I said that I am sad it is over, but I would also be lying if I said that I am happy it is over.... However, I can be honest in saying that Clarence, Betsy and I had one hell of a ride (..no, not the Irish kind of ride...there was definitely none of that...unfortunately...).
I get that it's a cliched millennial thing to say that living in a camper was a journey filled with self exploration and personal growth.... But whatever, thats what exactly what it was.
I managed to live in Clarence for about 4 and a half months (Feb - July). Though, I managed to make it through the winter with inconsistent heaters, my breaking point ironically was when the fridge could not keep up with the May heat wave. I was very lucky and found a room in a house to move in almost immediately.
I continued to adventure with Clarence and Betsy for a month or two but then unfortunately half ripped one of the jacks off and could not afford to fix the damage. So I flogged it on to an ambitious buyer. And if you read to the end, you can see how Clarence went out with a bang...
But first, I’d like to share some of the things camper life taught me.
Lessons from Clarence the Camper
1. Enjoy the simple things in life...
So it turns out that showers, a full kitchen and a flushing toilet - are glorious! Oh my, does normal life ever get more splendid after “roughing it”. I mean I know I wasn’t completely roughing it, roughing it… but wow running water is great. And so is baking cookies whenever I like. And a full fridge.. Where veggies actually last! It's incredible. I’m so grateful.
We don’t always think of how lucky we are until we are in absence of. It boggles my mind that there are people in Canada living without clean water. I feel so privileged.
2. DIY projects can be fun
Usually when it comes to anything remotely mechanical, or fixing things related… I assume I’m unable to do it. When I pick up a tool, I typically drop it about five times before I've figured out what I'm meant to be doing with the tool. So if I need to fix something, I assume I’ll just cock it up…
But as it turns out I can do more for myself than I thought. For instance, I learnt that can cock! I had never imagined that I would wield a cocking gun in my hands…But I did, and it was pretty fun! And overall I managed to cock Clarence with minimal difficulty… though maximal mess.
Though I am proud of my accomplishment, there is now a sandal footprint a top poor Mr. Clarence’s head. And the cocking gun has so much cock goo on it that its not really suitable to re-use. (I don't have a photo of the gun, but there was about the same amount of goo on the gun as on my hands...)
(and yes I did just try to see how many times I could use the word cock, and yes I did smirk while doing so… but no, I certainly do not have a juvenile sense of humour... :) )
I also learned that I could use a sani-dump without becoming completely grossed out…Don’t I won’t go into further details or provide descriptive photos.. We can just move along to lesson number 3…
3. Being Neuro-atypical is OK (though annoying at times)
I always knew organizing was not a strength I possess… However, Clarence smacked me in the face with how shit I am at organizing. Organizing and planning is SO hard and devising organizational systems in a small space was basically impossible.
I did come up with some systems....
But often the systems failed, or I forgot to lock the fridge so all of the contents scattered around the place any time I went on a logging road....
Also, while adventuring with Clarence, my distractibility while driving became more apparent... While trying to avoid potholes, I veered a little too wide and slid down a loose shoulder on one of Quadra's dirt roads.
And became very stuck....
Thankfully, island people are extremely kind and with a little help from a a few kind strangers and a random guy I had met 2 days prior from tinder...Clarence and Betsy became unstuck and I was able to make it to the ferry and to work the following day...
So, after my time with Clarence, I examined myself and contemplated that maaaybe my ADHD is a little more severe than I had thought, and maybe I could benefit functionally from medication. So now I’m on meds and mostly loving it - I’m definitely not cured.. (thats not possible) And, don’t get me wrong.. Meds don’t “fix” ADHD or get rid of all the symptoms... but I can 100% say that it is beneficial for overall productivity. So Thank-you, Clarence steering me into a ditch and onto a new direction.
I’m sure Clarence taught me much more than what's mentioned, but who has all day to read a silly blog these days when there are so many cute videos of dogs being hilarious...
Speaking of hilarious though... My last day with Clarence was quite funny...
Good-bye Clarence, the cursed camper
In the end, getting Clarence off Betsy was not easy…
I knew at least one jack was fucked and the others were questionable. And I was honest about this on the ad - I stipulated the purchaser was responsible for an innovative solution as I had no clue how to get him off.
So a very ambitious (potentially overly optimistic?) person, we will call Sue, agreed to purchase Clarence. She was tasked to devise a plan to remove Clarence from Betsey’s bed onto a mound of pallets.
Step one actually (surprisingly) worked with some innovative magivoring. Clarence was successfully on stilts.
Then we had the task of lowering Clarence onto the pallets. We realized a little too late that one of the jacks we thought was working, only really worked to hoist the camper up, not to lower it..
We also realized that although the make-shift jack Sue devised to help the camper in the air, it was not designed to lower the camper slowly into place. And for those that do not know, the idea with the jacks is that you slowly lower all sides fairly evenly to avoid toppling over.
So…Though we tried to lower Clarence as slow as possible... shit went pear-shaped quickly, and he toppled over sideways, crashing into two large trees (and it was lucky the trees were there for if they weren't Clarence would have smashed into Sue Neighbour's truck)
Now, I don’t usually believe that objects (like a camper) can be cursed cursed. But sometimes I wonder if Clarence had a touch of bad juju. Or if he didn’t have bad energy, he at least had a warped sense of humour. While Clarence was sideways, he decided to give his new owner a little love tap for a greeting…
While Sue tended to a leak from an external fuel reservoir (for the heater that never worked), the door swung open and smacked her atop her head. So now Sue had to solve the predicament while tending to a bleeding gash on her head.
But she and her friendly neighbour figured it out in the end. (While I mostly just stood there biting my nails and pretending not to be riddled with anxiety and guilt.)
Given the history of the camper, I feel this sideways situation was a fitting end to our time together. And provided a nice ending to the Clarence the Camper blog series.
I guess one last thing Clarence taught me, was even when I'm writing about funny or adventurous aspects of myself, I still don't really enjoy wiring about myself. So for now my goal is to focus on fantasy, poetry and funny free writing posts.
So stay tuned for more ridiculous and obscure content to come.
Opmerkingen